Wetsuits and Jiggly Bits
There should be a calorie chart for putting on a wetsuit, or, at least, a new wetsuit. The more effort required, the higher the calorie count.
I live in the Northeast, and there are only 2 months a year that I can go without a wetsuit. I’m also a complete wimp when it comes to being cold, I’m the first one with a wetsuit and other paraphernalia (booties, gloves, hoods, you name it) designed to maintain body heat while in the ocean.
I’ve decided to surf through the winter and need to buy more substantial wetsuits. Great! What size?
This is the size chart taken off an actual wetsuit website:
According to this size chart, I have to grow 3” or lose more weight. I’m working on both but only achieving the latter. This has been SLOW, so the remaining 20 lbs should be lost by the time I’m 70.
Wetsuits are supposed to be a second skin - perfectly molded to your body. They are also made with little give since the material is strong. Any “give” creates leaks.
Women’s wetsuits seemed to be more designed for surfing Barbie than any other body shapes. Look at the waist/hip ratio of this woman modeling the wetsuit below!
I have never, had the waist/hip ratio of surfing Barbie – my current jiggly bits take me farther out of that range.
Back to the wetsuits – I need a thick suit for cold weather and looked for winter wetsuits at the Lucky Dog in Sea Bright, NJ. When I took 4 of them to the changing room, the owner quipped, “You’re going to get a workout.”
I thought the 5mm (in thickness) was a very well made and learned, in the changing room, it was 6 mm wetsuit, which is built for water that gets down to 40 degrees Fahrenheit (7 degrees Celsius). This is Very high on the calorie chart and quite a struggle to put on. The woman who owns the store had to help me FORCE MY HEAD into the small opening for the hood, which was attached to the suit. It was like being born. Once on, it fit very well, however, since I wasn’t in 40-degree water, I was SOOO hot. My body was sweating in vain to get cooler.
All the perspiration made it harder to take off, and she HAD to help me. I’m not kidding. She literally had to help me, or I would still be in it. She yanked the air-tight hood back over my face and the tiny opening down off my shoulders while telling about a time when she stood in a cold shower waiting for a friend to come over to help her take off a wetsuit. Despite her lack of jiggly bits, I believe her story. No one else would even know you’d have to stand in a cold shower.
Fortunately, she has a great selection in my size and stocked thick wetsuits that are lower on the calorie chart; they are easier to put on and take off.
The trip was a success. I arrived home with my new personal fortress against the cold and I added calories from my wetsuit experience on my calorie counting app.
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