Dealing with Fear

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I had been excited to learn to surf, but now I was facing the realities of the learning curve: fear and frustration. Unsurprisingly, I had subconsciously taken on a sport that would challenge all of my greatest concerns. I'm sure I'm not alone: for some people, it's golf, for some, they have their kids to raise as a challenge. I'd decided to take on surfing and now I had to make a new decision: deal with the fear and frustration or succumb to them and give up. 
And I wasn't giving up.

First things first: Fear. There were days when the waves were well behaved and the right height for me. On these days the wind was blowing off-shore and keeping the surface smooth or "glassy." Then there were days when the water was untamed and the waves were bumpy and unpredictable. Or better yet, the waves were big ugly ogres coming from every direction. The surfing term is “gnarly.” If you're an Aussie, it's pronounced, "Nah-ly." On those days, the chances of wiping out were excellent and riding the waves were small. I should add that, when surfing, the depth of the ocean is usually over my head. Normally, that doesn’t concern me, but when the waves are wild, the depth adds to the fear factor.

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On some days, looking out at big, gnarly waves tied a knot in my stomach. 

Here, it’s good to know that beginner boards are long, voluminous vessels that easily catch waves. They won’t duck under a wave like the smaller boards can, so a powerful wave can knock back a beginner board significantly after working very hard to get the board out. Just getting out past the breakers is an accomplishment. On those days I could get pummeled and frustrated.

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To calm myself down, I'd challenge myself. I'd see how far out I could get my board. When I dealt with my fears head-on, they shrunk. Miraculously, the possibility of being swallowed by the next wave, or the fear of being held under too long dissipated. It's not that I didn't get trashed by a wave or held under longer than I'd like.  It just wasn't the life-or-death concern I had been making it out to be. Once calmer, the waves actually LOOKED different. The ogres became friendlier or just not as powerful. The colors were brighter and they seemed to be smaller.   

I’ve also learned that dealing with fear is a big part of surfing. 

Once watching the World Surf Tour, I heard the announcers talking about how Kelly Slater was using his breath to keep fear at bay. This was in Tahiti where the waves can be 20 feet high with a shallow coral bottom. Kelly Slater had won the world tour 11 times at that point. If he can deal with fear powerfully, than this was going to be part of my journey, too. 

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I would learn about special breathing at surf camp (next blog). I would also notice the many times on land when I was fearful, but hadn't acknowledged it. Finally, I would gain some confidence in my surfing. All this would change and enhance my life.


#womensurfersrock
#womensurfersslay #womensurfers
#womenathletes #olderathletes #fitness
#fitness #surfing #seniorsurfer #lockdown2020
#beachlife #jerseyshore #dealingwithfear
#adventure #ocean #environment #getoutside #jerseyshore #jerseybeach #jerseybeaches

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